Help: B.J. and Hawkeye Talk About a Medical Convention


For many years, Chris and his wife have laughed about a quote they’re certain is from the final episode of M*A*S*H. The only problem? They can’t find it in the episode.

Here it is:

B.J.: “Maybe we’ll run into each other at a medical convention.”
Hawkeye: “Can you imagine us at a medical convention?”

It sounds incredibly familiar to me but I can’t figure out which episode (if any) it’s from. If it’s not from “Goodbye, Farewell and Amen,” I thought maybe it was an exchange between Trapper and Hawkeye in “Check-Up” but I couldn’t find it in that episode, either.

Does anyone recognize this quote? Is it, or something similiar, from an episode of M*A*S*H?

5 Replies to “Help: B.J. and Hawkeye Talk About a Medical Convention”

  1. It is most definitely from Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen. It’s when Hawkeye is trying to get BJ to say goodbye. It’s a “surgical” convention specifically that they talk about.

  2. BJ: Want a sandwich?
    Hawkeye: What’s in it?
    BJ: Let’s see.
    BJ: Cucumbers, watercress, a little French mayonnaise.
    Hawkeye: Is the crust cut off?
    BJ: No.
    Hawkeye: Forget it.
    BJ: I tell you, one thing I’m not gonna miss is bologna.
    BJ: Or standing in line to take a cold shower.
    BJ: I’m not gonna miss that either.
    BJ: How about you? What are you not gonna miss?
    Hawkeye: Lice, dysentery, rats.
    Hawkeye: There’s nothing here I’m gonna miss except you.
    BJ: Yeah, well, we’ll get to see each other.
    Hawkeye: How? You’ll be on one coast and I’ll be on the other.
    BJ: Letters, phone calls.
    BJ: Maybe a surgical convention.
    Hawkeye: Can you picture either one of us at a convention?
    BJ: No, I guess not.
    Hawkeye: We’ll never see each other again.
    BJ: Look, one year Erin and Peg and I’ll come east.
    Hawkeye: One year.
    BJ: Yeah, and, um And we’ll get together and, um
    Hawkeye: Have dinner.
    BJ: Yeah.
    Hawkeye: In other words, good-bye.
    BJ: It’s not good-bye.
    Hawkeye: It is good-bye.
    Hawkeye: What’s the big deal?
    Hawkeye: Just say good-bye.
    BJ: What do you want me to say it for?
    Hawkeye: Because it shows you know I’m going.
    Hawkeye: What would you do if I was dying?
    Hawkeye: Hold me and let me die in your arms or just let me lay there and bleed?
    BJ: What are you talking about? You’re not dying.
    BJ: You don’t even have a cold.
    Hawkeye: Come on, just a little “so long”.
    BJ: I’m gonna get back to the O.R.
    Hawkeye: Good-bye.
    BJ: See you later.

  3. Thanks! That’s why I couldn’t find it when I searched the closed captions, it wasn’t “medical” convention but “surgical” convention. I swear I also tried searching “convention” and didn’t find anything…

  4. I wish I could say I liked this particular dialogue but I don’t. I get that Hawkeye became attached to BJ, who he relied on to help him get through the war after Trapper went home. And, without a doubt, BJ needed Hawkeye, too.

    But I think Hawkeye laid it a little thick. Earlier, when the late-Dr.Pierce got on Digger’s bus, he didn’t think twice about leaving BJ … and who knows, other than the wounded coming in, could he have left BJ behind? What about when Hawkeye was recovering from his breakdown, and expected to go home … he wouldn’t likely have the chance to say good-bye. I

    Getting away from the war, back to home and Dad was always foremost in Hawkeye’s mind, all series long. I think it was overplayed in the finale’.

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