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Re: Favorite M*A*S*H lines

Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2018 5:36 pm
by MarkoMasho
Capt Sloan:Ah here it is...7j591 incubator...
Blake:That she blows!
Capt Sloan: used for isolating diseases and cultures. Mm hmm well that makes sense. You can’t have one! It exceeds your MEE, minimum essential equipment, it would be a luxury.
Hawkeye: were not asking for a jukebox or pizza oven...
Capt Sloan: oh those I can let you have! Just cross out howitzer and insert pizza oven!

Re: Favorite M*A*S*H lines

Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2018 12:16 am
by Jim86
Hi there everyone!

Flagg (Halloran) to Klinger: hey up close you’re a Man..
Klinger: Far away too.

Frank in Father Mulchay’s tent: Father. Dear Father. Father dear farther come home with me now. Silly Goose.

Blake to Frank: you’re always wrong Frank. That’s what so right about you.

Re: Favorite M*A*S*H lines

Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2018 9:52 am
by UglyJohn
The classic rant from Adam's Ribs S3E11. Great writing and delivery.

Hawkeye: "I didn't hear you say that. Because it isn't possible. It's inhuman to serve the same food, day after day. The Geneva Convention prohibits the killing of our taste buds!"

"I simply cannot eat the same food every day! Fish! Liver! Day after day! I've eaten a river of liver and an ocean of fish! I've eaten so much fish, I'm ready to grow gills! I've eaten so much liver, I can only make love if I'm smothered in bacon and onions!"

A food riot ensues in the mess tent which finally lives up to its name and Henry gives Hawkeye the 3rd degree and a lecture as Hawkeye leans his head against the skeleton in Henry's office.

Henry: "Just who do you think you are, Pierce?"

Hawkeye: "I broke under the pressure, warden."

Re: Favorite M*A*S*H lines

Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2018 5:04 pm
by MarkoMasho
I’ll take 20 and a quart of sauce!
10 and a pint!

Re: Favorite M*A*S*H lines

Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2018 5:14 pm
by MarkoMasho
Col. Blake: Did you guys really send a case of pipe cleaners to McArthur?!

Re: Favorite M*A*S*H lines

Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2018 5:23 pm
by MarkoMasho
Gen Barker: well capt...what ru going to do now?
Hawk: well, I’m gonna see his 10 and raise him...
Gen Barker: capt Pierce! Your in a whole lotta trouble now!!
Hawk: I don’t think so...I can beat a pair of 10s !!

Re: Favorite M*A*S*H lines

Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2018 10:21 pm
by MarkoMasho
MASH means Mobile Army Surgical Hospital, and mobile you shall be!
Sir, that'll mean tearing down the tents, the buildings.
We'll have to pack everything up.
I mean, we've been here a long time.
We fixed it up so nice.
I mean, gee whiz, just last week the nurses planted radishes.
"A radish will never stand in the way of victory." -Marshal Foch.

Re: Favorite M*A*S*H lines

Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2018 9:57 am
by Mr Kwong
"I have to take my milk of magnesia, and do 3 push-ups..."

Col. Maurice Hollister

Re: Favorite M*A*S*H lines

Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2018 5:44 pm
by Whiskey & A Nosh
This whole thing from Private Charles Lamb:

I gave a discharge to a sheep!
He's on his way to Tokyo now.
On Bo Peep Airlines.
A buddy of mine will reroute him to Iowa to my folks. I already radioed them. They're expecting him.
He can sleep in your room.
Your pants will just fit him.
I think I'm losing my mind.
Don't fight it, Henry.
I've got Command on my tail! And a hospital full of Greeks waiting on a lamb that's on a plane on his way to Iowa to become Radar's little brother!

Re: Favorite M*A*S*H lines

Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2018 2:04 pm
by MarkoMasho
I loved that !

..a spam lamb ! 😄

Re: Favorite M*A*S*H lines

Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2018 12:29 am
by MarkoMasho
- Bartford Hamilton Steele, that’s 3 e’s not all in a row!
When you get home, would you call my wife? - Certainly, General.
- Tell her I'm sending a Jeep for her birthday.
It'll be in a large crate marked "kitchen utensils.
" Don't mention that in your article.
Scout's honor.
You might also tell Mrs.
Steele the dried prunes are working out fine.
Best thing since the Gatling gun.
As a matter of fact, just talking about it Uh, excuse me, where's the little generals' room? Oh, that's just outside, sir.


Re: Favorite M*A*S*H lines

Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2019 2:05 pm
by graphite1205
Hi All

Col. Sherman T. Potter: [after Frank shot BJ in the leg] Burns, what's the meaning of this?

Maj. Frank Burns: I was cleaning my gun and it discharged prematurely. Sir, I think the Chinese have captured Maj. Houlihan.

Col. Sherman T. Potter: I see. So naturally, you shot Capt. Hunnicut

Love it :D

Re: Favorite M*A*S*H lines

Posted: Thu Apr 11, 2019 8:54 am
by Ferret Face
Henry: "Will you stop saying what I am thinking?"
Radar: "One of us has to."

Radar (reading a letter Flagg dictated to him): "Mary had a little lamb. Stop. My dog has fleas. Stop."
Flagg: "Good. There's a bit more. Mairzy doats and dozy doats, and I'll be home for Christmas. You got that?"
Radar: "Just a moment, sir. OK."
Flagg: "Sign it 'Your loving son, Queen Victoria."

And then the next scene:

Hawkeye: "Mary had a little lamb."
Pratt: "He knows I'm here."
Trapper: "How?'
Hawkeye: "I hate to tell you this, Mary, but your dog has fleas.

Hawkeye: "Dear Dad, I am not dead. Stop. Hope you are the same. Stop. Thinking of selling my clubs? Stop. Spending my insurance policy? Stop."

Re: Favorite M*A*S*H lines

Posted: Wed May 01, 2019 12:55 am
by JocularityGirl
So many different lines!
From my personal favorite episode, Nurse Doctor:
Father Mulcahy(talking to Hawkeye, referring to Gail Harris, who took a romantic fancy to him.): "She hugged the stuffing out of me!"
Same episode, Colonel Potter on a rant, talking to Hawkeye, Margaret, and Fr. Mulcahy about Gail:
(To Hawkeye) "You stop talking about her!"
(To Margaret) "You stop hating her!"
(To Mulcahy) "You stop dating her!"
And some rants of Colonel Flagg...
"Don't play dumb, I'm better at it than you are!"
I keep myself in a constant state of utter confusion!"
"I am the wind!"
And from Charles...
"You Creatins! I loathe you! Looooathe you!"
"Where is that Lebanese mongoose?!"
And of course, from good ol' Frank...

Re: Favorite M*A*S*H lines

Posted: Sat May 11, 2019 6:43 pm
by Sschind
M: you lied to me Frank. That's worse than stealing.

F: I happen to think stealing is worse than lying

M: and you did both.

F: so I ought to know.

After Radar does his Impression of John Wayne
Frank: John Wayne. He doesn't sound anything like you.

Probably my favorite line though, from my favorite episode

Charles: Thanks Max.